I'm going to start with a brief back story for people who haven't been reading my little blog for a while.  Last year my son Frodo went to public school for the first time ever.  He was 9 and in grade 4.  He tried and tried, and was miserable and bullied for the better part of the year.  The school was no help, and in fact made things worse.  You see, Frodo has ADHD, and I strongly suspect hovers on the Aspergers' end of the spectrum.  School was a major struggle for him and they gave lip service to being supportive. In November (our school year runs from the end of January to mid December) I finally said enough and withdrew him.  He was thrilled to return to home schooling but his brothers both love school and really wanted to stay, so that's our family dynamic.

We live a mere 200m from the school, so every morning I take the younger two up to school and Frodo has stayed home and worked on skwirk or read a book.  On those occasions where we were heading straight out to an activity or to run errands after the drop off, he would insist on rolling the windows down and waiting in the car for the few minutes it took to walk the others o class.  No way, no how, was he going onto that school campus where he was so ostracized and traumatized.  And honestly?  I couldn't blame him.

A few weeks ago Sam (who is in grade 2) mentioned that a boy who was in Frodo's class asks how he's doing fairly often and how he likes home schooling.  I didn't think much of it at the time,  but a few days later as the other two put their school shoes on and got ready to head out the door, Frodo said I think I'll go with you.  Colour me surprised, but of course he was welcome to come.  I figured he would want to sit in the car, play my iphone, and then try to sweet talk me into going to the coffee shop for an iced chocolate ;)  But when we pulled into the carpark... he actually started to get OUT of the car!  I tried to hide my surprise, and he said he was hoping to see Chad (not his real name :) to say hi to him.  Well, ok!  So we all walked onto campus and he came with me to drop Merry at his class... and he seemed bummed because we didn't see Chad.  However on the way back to the car, he started waving and saying hi Chad! and stopped & had a chat briefly :)  

I was SO proud of him... and when we got to the car I gave him a hug and told him just that, that I was SO impressed that he walked onto that campus with his head held high despite how much trouble the place had been for him.   And yeah, even though I hadn't planned to go out.. there was definitely an iced chocolate and gingerbread cookie to be had... Courage deserves to be rewarded!

A few days later, he came with us again... and this time he wandered off with Sam towards his class, instead of staying with me.  I called out to him to meet me at Merrys' class when the bell sounded and was a little nervous that he might not find the experience any better than last year, but I had to let him try.  He apparently ran into another boy he knew, and walked to class with him and came running back at the sound of the bell with a big smile :)  Time really does heal wounds I guess.

 As we walked from Merrys' class we saw one of the staff who said hello to him.  I didn't know her, but he did.  She said it was lovely to see him and asked where he's been... he told her and she said she knew a LOT of people that homeschooled and asked how he likes it?  He told her it's great and that we were off to French in the park after drop off.  Part of me hopes that makes it back to the Principal (whom we did not have good experiences with AT all) so she knows what an exceptional little boy she lost at her school.  We haven't actually seen her, but as Frodo has taken to going with me much more often, I'm sure we will.  So I'm working with him on how to respond to her politely  when she approaches him.. because I know she will.  I remind him that people think home schoolers never go out, so to share whatever exciting thing we have going on that week with the home school group ;)

I'm sure when the day comes that he is ready to face her, I'll be able to step back and encourage him to have confidence ... but also let him know I am *always* there to have his back.  Just like I had his back when I stepped up to the principal and said enough.  However, if he isn't ready to deal with that..that's ok.  I will not let her diminish the confidence & courage that he is rediscovering.

Ok fellow home schooling mamas (and dads!)  ... I need to whinge.  Anyone reading my blog for a while knows that Frodo home schooled, then went to school last year & had a horrid time, and was excited to return to home education late last year.  He's had a rough year, lots of illness and such, but we've still been moving along with his studies.  He's quirky and easily distracted as always, but we work around that.

The BIG problem that I'm having trouble getting around is his WHINGING!  Almost everything I ask him to do, schoolwork wise (actually... this is pretty true for any area of his life) that is NOT computer based, results in a great deal of complaining and whining about how BooooooooooOOOOOOOOring it is!  He mumbled under his breath several times how he hoped our excursion yesterday wasn't boring, only to have great fun in the end.  He enjoyed using History Odyssey when we previously home schooled and wanted to start it again (we're using lvl 2 now), which was cool with me.. but now he balks at reading any of the books that are part of the curriculum.  He's currently reading The Golden Goblet, which sounds like a bit of an Ancient Egyptian adventure tale... and informs me he did not like reading the first book and he doesn't like reading this one either.  

He was doing skwirk lessons earlier, text types was the subject, and I gave him the option of choosing either an information report lesson or a recount (with the suggestion that he could write something about his excursion to remember it by) well.. those are both BORING he says.  He eventually did the lesson on recounts.. but doesn't want to actually recount anything!?!  *pulls own hair out*

I have no problem with him doing a LOT of his school work on the computer, because clearly that is his passion and it's the way of the future anyway... but I have to have written samples, and for balance he needs to read actual books, and write things with an actual pencil etc.   Today I lost the plot momentarily and said fine, if you are that bored do you think I should start looking for a private school where you can start fresh, that way you wouldn't be bored and could see if it worked better than the local public school did!?!?!  I flat out told him I refuse to keep doing this if he is going to whinge & argue with me about every little bit of schoolwork.

Somehow he seems to think that homeschooling is about playing mine-craft all day long?!   (yep, already have limits in place there, he can play mine craft or other games after all his schoolwork is done for the day!)  I'm seriously considering just not planning any schoolwork for next week... but also NOT turning on ANY of the computers all day... or the Wii.  I think maybe he'd get the idea that I'm not going to have this fight, and that if he isn't willing to keep his end of the bargain then life is gonna be pretty boring.

But then... I feel like a real bitch.  I want him to enjoy home schooling and be enthusiastic.. but at the very least I want him to be enthusiastic to just get it done!   I keep letting him know that I do this because I love him, and that this choice means I give up being able to work or go to Uni during school hours and that I'm feeling a bit unappreciated about it.  But I really don't know how else to tackle this... I don't like making him feel guilty or worried that I'll send him back to school..

I've thought about swinging back toward unschooling.. but I know Frodo and I know that he would spend 80% of his time bouncing between mine craft on the computer, Skylanders on the Wii and surfing the web looking at Zelda walk through's and such (all the things that make up most of his free time now)   And honestly... that's not my idea of providing a high quality, well rounded education (which I've committed to providing to the Home Ed Unit application).    Oh how I wish I had a kid that would read or decide to investigate different things!  But I don't... I have a kid that perseverates on the very few things he is currently obsessed with.  

Suggestions would not be considered unsolicited advice at all *deep sigh*

The other day I was surfing around some of the blogs I follow and came across  some articles on The Innovative Educator  that really resonated with me about medication for ADHD children.  Just about anyone that has been reading my little blog (which granted, is not many people lol) knows that my little dude Frodo has been diagnosed with ADHD and SPD (sensory processing disorder).  He was in public school last year and he was really struggling in the classroom (and with bullies) due to his behaviour, and we were really struggling as well, to help him learn new ways of coping with this new environment.   Frodo was suspended twice in the 8odd months he was in school.. both times for things that were obvious reactions to the nastiness that schoolmates had inflicted on him.. but the school didn't care about that.   It was all about HIS behaviour and what we could do to 'help' him.

My son is NOT the type of kid that would walk up to a girl with a visibly broken & bandaged toe and then stomp & twist his foot on hers.  Yet, that is what the school expects me to believe.  He brought home a BRO, which is a form the children have to fill out when they did something wrong.  In it they must detail what the incident was, and what they should do instead next time.  On it he stated he wasn't paying attention when he walked up to the student to ask her for something, and that he didn't intend to step on her foot.  He did write that some of the other kids say he did stomp but that he did not.  A teacher, or the principal, actually wrote that it happened the way everyone else said.    I'm fed up, and I've emailed & called the principal but no reply yet.

Not that it matters... the school has labeled Frodo as a 'problem' despite him having diagnosed special needs.  And as my DH says, the minute we tried medication for him, the school gave up on him.  The communication book that was started to help him & us with feedback on how he did each day has not been seen for the entirety of this term (5 weeks).  No matter what the problem is, it is ALWAYS Frodo's fault and there are ALWAYS other students willing to attest to the fact that he did X, Y or Z.    Coincidentally, these are all the same kids that exclude, ostracize and bully him both inside & outside of school hours... but the principal doesn't, or won't, see this.    I guess the problem doesn't exist if you put blinders on and look the other way?

As I said, I've called (left a msg) as well as emailed the principal and have gotten no response.  I also wrote a long reply to the stupid letter that I was required to sign :)  and I have emailed his teacher asking if HE was there and could he please enlighten me about the situation since the principal isn't bothering to do so.  I am almost done with his learning program, so I guess that is priority #1, since I can't see him remaining there even the last 5 weeks if he is not even going to be listened to. 

In the remotest possibility that it IS true that he did what he is accused of, I would sort of have to blame the school for allowing the other kids to continue to mistreat him for the entire year... who WOULDN'T be angry and act out at that point?  They have known of the situation all year, yet really not done enough.  Can't wait to get this kid home again, so he can start to heal from the year of misery he has been through :(   I feel guilty for not seeing exactly how much it was affecting him sooner (I did know he was struggling, and pushed for help and got some but I had no idea he was so angry inside)